tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41091579037634444472024-03-13T12:01:13.480-01:00At Flores in the AzoresMusings from the island of Flores in the Azores, PortugalNeil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.comBlogger235125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-28686364115454021742015-11-21T11:50:00.000-01:002015-11-21T12:49:03.072-01:00YoutubeI'm so rock and roll that my only two playlists on Youtube are called "Land Registration" and "Maintenance". Don't ask about the former but the latter is a collection of videos, mostly by Matt of <a href="http://www.espares.co.uk/" target="_blank">eSpares</a> showing me how to do things like ...<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="225" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-9kbM4q1ZgU" width="400"></iframe><br />
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Reason I'm mentioning this is that, last year, we bought two venetian blinds from a British firm called <a href="http://www.web-blinds.com/" target="_blank">Web-blinds.com</a> for our new holiday rental (see <a href="https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/6265630?s=-YREba3z" target="_blank">here</a>). They're made to measure by entering the required dimensions into their website and they post them out to you. 185,00€ including delivery (and a 20,00€ option so that, if when you when you receive them, you find you got your measurements wrong, you can get them to send a new set of the correct size gratis) seemed quite reasonable and we were very happy with the blinds we got (which did fit first time).<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Bs1VJAuzQqE/Vk_CWYQ8RDI/AAAAAAAAJxM/z5rPHukyPVI/s1600/IMG_5723.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Bs1VJAuzQqE/Vk_CWYQ8RDI/AAAAAAAAJxM/z5rPHukyPVI/s400/IMG_5723.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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The degree of satisfaction evaporated somewhat a couple of weeks ago when the string that raises and lowers the blind (not the one which alters the angle of attack of the slats - if you're not sure what the difference is, think of the alpha floor protection algorithm on the horizontal stabilisers of an Airbus A320) snapped.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mt9HVwNSZIE/Vk_HiY1SkDI/AAAAAAAAJxc/x34vdtR2U9E/s1600/IMG_7462.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mt9HVwNSZIE/Vk_HiY1SkDI/AAAAAAAAJxc/x34vdtR2U9E/s400/IMG_7462.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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This was literally a matter of days after the one year warranty expired but I imagined that a reputable company like Web-Blinds would probably have a string replacement kit they would send out gratis. But when I wrote to them, the answer I got was:-<br />
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<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2614">
<i><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2787" style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Dear Mr King</span></i></div>
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2607">
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<i> </i><br />
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2615">
<i><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2639" style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Thank you for your email</span></i></div>
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2616">
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<i> </i><br />
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2618">
<i><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2617" style="font-size: 11.0pt;">I do apologise but we are unable to send replacement cord to you.</span></i></div>
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<i> </i><br />
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2620">
<i><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2619" style="font-size: 11.0pt;">This is because replacing the cord without perishing the blind is an extremely difficult task and often lead [sic] the blind falling apart.</span></i></div>
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<i> </i><br />
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2622">
<i><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2638" style="font-size: 11.0pt;">With this being the case we do not advise this and have no instructions to assist.</span></i></div>
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<i> </i><br />
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2624">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Kind Regards</span></i></div>
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2625">
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<i> </i><br />
<div class="yiv9353715025MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1448063832460_2626">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Ashley Richardson</span></i></div>
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Well FU2 Ashley, I was thinking, until it occurred that Matt at eSpares might have a more can-do attitude. I was half right because about 30 seconds googling brought me to a YouTube called "How to Restring a Horizontal Woodblind" by Fixmyblinds.com which did very much as it says on the tin:-<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="225" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/u95RlGKMUnU?list=PLatgm5_YJjZq6S_kDXXm7NqeBmfB5cyu0" width="400"></iframe><br />
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Next stop Ebay to order some venetian blind cord (£8.59/11,50€ inc. postage: <a href="http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/271563198382?_trksid=p2057872.m2749.l2649&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT" target="_blank">here</a>) and, this having duly arrived, yesterday I went up to the house to attempt the job. OK, it took about 45 times as long as the vid implies due to the fiddlyness of threading the cord through the roller mechanism but, despite the dire prognostications of Ashley at Web-Blinds, the job was ultimately entirely successful after remarkably little DIY Tourettes:-<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ST5-04wwb1U/VlBhd9Sf2dI/AAAAAAAAJxs/7-rWTY_38mY/s1600/IMG_7942.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ST5-04wwb1U/VlBhd9Sf2dI/AAAAAAAAJxs/7-rWTY_38mY/s400/IMG_7942.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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The point here is that, if it weren't for YouTube (and by extension the fibre optic cable laid out to this island two years ago before which it wasn't possible to watch YTs), it would never have occurred to me that this was a repair I could have done myself and I'd have ended up paying 10 times as much as I did for a new blind.<br />
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Now I'm off to pen a carefully crafted reply to Ashley. It will involve telling her to:-<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="225" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zduKJqaKH44?rel=0&showinfo=0" width="400"></iframe><br />Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-61849041312682671652015-10-31T18:07:00.001-01:002015-10-31T18:07:28.965-01:00Rugby World Cup LookalikeHas anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between Australian flanker Michael Hooper and the punk in Dirty Harry?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TQI0cF0nLqc/VjURHOXbzcI/AAAAAAAAJuE/WaShQahIXOQ/s1600/andy%2Brobinson%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TQI0cF0nLqc/VjURHOXbzcI/AAAAAAAAJuE/WaShQahIXOQ/s400/andy%2Brobinson%2B2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hooper Punk</td></tr>
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Even if not related, they share the same fate of not having been lucky.Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-12574008104699614512015-10-22T23:25:00.000+00:002015-10-22T23:25:39.199+00:00Nazi lookalike (update)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SGhKI8u3LSE/Vilu_7LMXxI/AAAAAAAAJt0/48ibx61wnAA/s1600/Schweinsteiger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="392" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SGhKI8u3LSE/Vilu_7LMXxI/AAAAAAAAJt0/48ibx61wnAA/s400/Schweinsteiger.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
As reported on the BBC today - <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34606799" target="_blank">here</a> - but the record will show I trailed this unfolding scandal more than a year ago - <a href="http://floresazores.blogspot.pt/2014/06/world-cup-lookalike.html" target="_blank">here.</a><br />
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Surely it ought to be Hauptmann Ullmann suing to protect his image rights - the doll doesn't look anything like him.Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-61585540035648380012015-09-20T20:04:00.002+00:002015-09-20T20:04:29.255+00:00Raptor lookalikeA friend (you know who you are and you're right!) has drawn to my attention that few appear to have noticed the uncanny resemblance between Eastender's star Samantha Womack and a bird of prey:-<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UU9-oFCG4aI/Vf8M8Jkz-iI/AAAAAAAAJs0/1TVk46ENLGc/s1600/Womack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="137" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UU9-oFCG4aI/Vf8M8Jkz-iI/AAAAAAAAJs0/1TVk46ENLGc/s400/Womack.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Janus Steppe Eagle</td></tr>
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As they almost certainly are related, Phil needs to be told so he can get <i>la belle Ron</i> stuffed and mounted in a glass case on the parcel shelf of a used Golf down the Arches to keep Kaff company:-<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-twAyaN1x7Fk/Vf8QdbMuanI/AAAAAAAAJtA/B_8fRKs4Fms/s1600/IMG_0146.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-twAyaN1x7Fk/Vf8QdbMuanI/AAAAAAAAJtA/B_8fRKs4Fms/s400/IMG_0146.JPG" width="400" /></a> Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-38636666854778398632015-07-01T00:14:00.002+00:002015-07-01T00:14:47.815+00:00FAQs: dieselI regularly receive questions from people contemplating coming to live on Flores. Prominent amongst these are property prices (low-ish), Portuguese taxes (average) and internet speed (I've no complaints but judge for youself).<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hRNb4s2nqmU/VZG-I0cbcNI/AAAAAAAAJhg/zQUYlnYpGLk/s1600/Speed%2Btest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hRNb4s2nqmU/VZG-I0cbcNI/AAAAAAAAJhg/zQUYlnYpGLk/s400/Speed%2Btest.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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But I was surprised recently to be asked if you could buy <i>diesel</i> on the
island. Particularly as the questioner had pre-supposed that he could
get his SUV to a place where it might not be possible to refuel it on arrival.<br />
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For the avoidance of doubt (as we lawyers are fond of saying when in fact we're adding to it massively), you <i>can </i>buy diesel here. At petrol (gas) stations in accordance with the usual practice, in fact - you don't have to buy it in leaky jerry cans from a bloke who smuggled it off a passing ship, or anything.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qaJFRQ6ZRuI/VZHEJGmBuJI/AAAAAAAAJhw/8RvN9-sEMzw/s1600/3364255018_6a7e538388_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qaJFRQ6ZRuI/VZHEJGmBuJI/AAAAAAAAJhw/8RvN9-sEMzw/s400/3364255018_6a7e538388_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Library picture - this particular petrol station is now closed</td></tr>
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Don't ask me about the price of diesel, though, as my car is petrol (gasoline). 1,38€ per litre as you ask, which, with the Euro trading so low due to the Greek crisis (how<i> is</i> that anti-austerity thing working out, by the way?), is about £1.00. Thus, petrol in this outlying island is considerably cheaper than in Britain where it currently averages around £1.17 a litre. That's no doubt because Portugal taxes petrol more lightly than the UK but the BBC's <a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/business-21238363" target="_blank">fuel price calculator</a> also suggests that the price of petrol on Flores is about 9% below the Portuguese average.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KvZEoqiGd2Y/VZL3yjYfkaI/AAAAAAAAJiI/iKjHYWPEh0U/s1600/petrol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KvZEoqiGd2Y/VZL3yjYfkaI/AAAAAAAAJiI/iKjHYWPEh0U/s400/petrol.jpg" width="293" /></a></div>
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Whether that's because the Azores suffer a lower rate of fuel duty than in continental Portugal, I don't know (we have 5% lower Value Added Tax (sales tax) here and lower Income Tax rates as well) but cheaper petrol in the islands is the complete reverse of the situation in Scotland where higher fuel prices in the islands is a constant gripe due to the transportation costs (even though the Scottish islands are much closer to the mainland than the Azores).<br />
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I've digressed away from things intending residents of Flores wonder about whether you can buy here. When we arrived in 2006 we were mindful of the fact our house's electricity supply had been disconnected (because there's a standing charge of 0,31€ a day - do we have that in Britain?) and it might take a while for it to be reconnected. So we brought a shed load of <i>candles </i>with us. We've still got most of them:-<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ldNFaH0Lorc/VZME8jTmptI/AAAAAAAAJiY/LWo-BhmPJtk/s1600/IMG_7173.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ldNFaH0Lorc/VZME8jTmptI/AAAAAAAAJiY/LWo-BhmPJtk/s400/IMG_7173.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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If we'd known then what we know now, though, we'd have brought a suitcase full of this:-<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2eBgh8nmusY/VZMudpnPLwI/AAAAAAAAJik/Bv_hM5c0CWw/s1600/IMG_7174.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2eBgh8nmusY/VZMudpnPLwI/AAAAAAAAJik/Bv_hM5c0CWw/s400/IMG_7174.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-57520252569133259822015-04-09T22:12:00.000+00:002015-04-09T22:12:36.518+00:00MaduroDipping in to the UK election debate last night, they were discussing the abolition of tax breaks for Non-Doms (Russian oligarchs who live in Britain and own football clubs there but are not legally resident). However, I was struck less by the policy differences as by the sartorial similarities between incumbent prime minister, David Cameron, and the leader of the opposition, Ed Miliband:-<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YVSCzVWm0_U/VSbmT98KEoI/AAAAAAAAJdU/WtcJcqmyvs4/s1600/Plum%2BCameron.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YVSCzVWm0_U/VSbmT98KEoI/AAAAAAAAJdU/WtcJcqmyvs4/s1600/Plum%2BCameron.jpg" height="193" width="400" /></a></div>
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Blue single breasted suit, cream shirt and plum tie.<br />
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Dress says a lot about politicians: much has been made of the open necked look affected by the new Greek government:-<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XZeHNHaqOK4/VSbn10XP_BI/AAAAAAAAJdg/ScBzsL1McW8/s1600/Tsipras.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XZeHNHaqOK4/VSbn10XP_BI/AAAAAAAAJdg/ScBzsL1McW8/s1600/Tsipras.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is that a pint of Guiness Varoufakis is holding?</td></tr>
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Having got over the cheap nylon shirts and squint ties they were prone to in previous decades, ex-Soviet bloc leaders continue to embarrass themselves with over-sized hats and even bigger tits:-<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bylr8JtD448/VSbx6cxXpVI/AAAAAAAAJdw/buEFRM7E1to/s1600/belarus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bylr8JtD448/VSbx6cxXpVI/AAAAAAAAJdw/buEFRM7E1to/s1600/belarus.jpg" height="245" width="400" /></a></div>
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Not that the leader of the free world should be feeling too smug: I always feel American presidents look particularly cringeworthy in their Air Force One bomber jackets:-<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tz1wRpeQLS4/VSb0LqBJxVI/AAAAAAAAJeE/JSRyJOAAVCA/s1600/bomber%2Bjacket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tz1wRpeQLS4/VSb0LqBJxVI/AAAAAAAAJeE/JSRyJOAAVCA/s1600/bomber%2Bjacket.jpg" height="400" width="398" /></a></div>
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But all of this is a paling into insignificance introduction to what the FUCK is President of Venzuela, Nicolas Maduro's anorak all about?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UMUckxNZW-E/VSb1TLOQ8eI/AAAAAAAAJeQ/w2vLBJEDF10/s1600/maduro.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UMUckxNZW-E/VSb1TLOQ8eI/AAAAAAAAJeQ/w2vLBJEDF10/s1600/maduro.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More chav than chavista?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-85518785073411063152015-04-08T00:25:00.000+00:002015-04-08T12:59:32.798+00:00Proper breadSet in a fictitious working class suburb of Manchester, England, "Coronation Street" is the world's longest running TV soap opera.<br />
<br />
Ken Barlow appeared in the very first episode in 1960 and the actor who plays him, Bill Roache, remains perennially youthful at the age of 82 despite having been caught up in the dragnet of British 60s/70s celebrities accused of sex crimes and acquitted.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F_nYFx25STs/VR8bfxRtrfI/AAAAAAAAJb4/XFb2pXUFSUw/s1600/Bill%2BRoache.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F_nYFx25STs/VR8bfxRtrfI/AAAAAAAAJb4/XFb2pXUFSUw/s1600/Bill%2BRoache.png" height="231" width="400" /></a></div>
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The fourth of Ken's wives, Deirdre, has been in the Street since the early 70s and still is despite the fact the actress who plays her is dead. This is because Deirdre remains<i></i> "away" <i>sine die</i>. You know, in that way soap characters go "away" at short notice to impossibly remote places like Scotland or sometimes even (shivers!) countries in continental Europe like Spain where, apparently, there are no telecommunications, low-cost airlines or even postal services allowing them to communicate with back home as if they were jihadis who'd gone to join IS.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BD2M8ILEhDY/VR8h9NWAB0I/AAAAAAAAJcE/dx6RTw_qcPk/s1600/Anne%2BK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BD2M8ILEhDY/VR8h9NWAB0I/AAAAAAAAJcE/dx6RTw_qcPk/s1600/Anne%2BK.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Anyway, in what proved to be one of her latter appearances in the Street last year, Deirdre and Ken were on a caravanning holiday. Deirdre (but not Ken) is a townie uncomfortable in the country and is on
the phone to her daughter, Tracy, back home in Weatherfield when she delivers one of the best comic lines in the history of soap: <br />
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<i>Your dad's gone to the farm to get fresh milk. I don't know why he bothered - I told him they've got proper milk at the petrol station down the road!</i><br />
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That's all by way of a very long introduction to the fact that we've now got proper bread on Flores. You know, the sort that's already sliced and in a plastic bag and you buy in a supermarket instead of that awful rubbish you have to buy in a baker's and cut yourself.<br />
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I don't know if there's an equivalent expression in Portuguese (<i>a melhor coisa desde pao laminado</i>?) but in British English we talk about "the greatest thing since sliced bread" (as in "my mother thinks my brother's new girlfriend is the greatest thing since ..."). Well, we're currently living that moment on Flores - experiencing the arrival of something eponymously that good!<br />
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Anyway, the bread in question is imported from a Spanish company called BIMBO. Now I'm not some kind of namby pamby, hoity toity, la-di-dah, raggety arsed faggot of a lefty liberal tree hugger by a long shot but even I feel a tad queasy about the food miles involved in having beans (did I mention they've also got "proper beans" made by Heinz here as well now?) on toast baked in Barcelona of all the bloody places! Delicious though they may be.<br />
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The outermost ripples of globalisation are well and truly lapping on the shores of Flores but I'm often asked by tourists why you can't buy fresh locally grown vegetables in the shops here. The answer is, I think, that plenty of stuff is grown here: it just doesn't get into the shops because it's used at home by the people who planted it. The food economy has sort of skipped a generation (or two) and is presently sitting at an uneasy cross-roads between grow your own and import it from Barcelona.<br />
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Ken Barlow would understand. Deirdre wouldn't. Not sure I do. But I think these guys know the answer:-<br />
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Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-16635299376261959122015-03-31T23:48:00.000+00:002015-03-31T23:48:58.810+00:00Encaminhamento (free flights to Flores!)<br />
Between Germanwings in the French Alps and then Air Canada at Halifax NS, it's not been a good week for that ubiquitous workhorse of the skies, the humble Airbus A320.<br />
<br />
But the one pictured below isn't being sprayed by fire trucks because it's on fire or anything but rather as a celebration of the first easyJet flight to the Azores which landed at Ponta Delgada on Sao Miguel on Sunday, 29 March.<br />
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And the first Ryanair flight will arrive at PDL on Wednesday:-<br />
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That picture is clearly a photoshop because the mountain in the background is on the island of Pico which is nowhere near Ponta Delgada. You see Pico flying out of Horta on Faial and for anyone who gets queasy about airliners flying too close to mountains, here's a photo to give you the squitters:-<br />
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Oops, sorry! Wrong picture! This is the one I meant:-<br />
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That's one I took of Pico viewed from a passing TAP Airbus minutes out of Horta.<br />
<br />
Anyway, easyJet will be flying LIS-PDL three times a week initially with the frequency increasing from June (see <a href="http://www.easyjet.com/en/cheap-flights/lisbon/ponta-delgada" target="_blank">here</a>) while Ryanair will be flying twice daily LIS-PDL six days a week and will also have less frequent flights from PDL to Porto and London-Stansted (see <a href="http://www.ryanair.com/en/timetables/" target="_blank">here</a>).<br />
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But as well as the advent of easyJet and Ryanair, our own local airline, SATA (shortly to be rebranded as Azores Airlines, I gather), has introduced a new scheme called <i>encaminhamento.</i><br />
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That's one of these words that I know what it means but there isn't an English word for. <i>Caminho</i> is the Portuguese for a path or a track: if it helps, <i>re-encaminhar</i> is the word for "forward" in the context of e-mail so <i>encaminhamento</i> would translate as "sending you on your way" or similar.<br />
<br />
Anyway, what this means in the context of air travel is this. There are only three Azorean islands (Sao Miguel, Terceira and Faial) with direct flights to the <i>continente</i>. So, if, like us, you live on one of the other six Azores, you have to get a connecting SATA flight to your point of departure for the mainland. <i>Encaminhamento</i> is the concept that that connecting flight is now free.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O_xI8TEiBeg/VRm_KY_flcI/AAAAAAAAJaE/u2NSQUVKD4U/s1600/SATA%2BA310.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O_xI8TEiBeg/VRm_KY_flcI/AAAAAAAAJaE/u2NSQUVKD4U/s1600/SATA%2BA310.jpg" height="270" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit <a href="http://www.airliners.net/photo/SATA-International/Airbus-A310-304/2577679/L/&sid=c9d201687b2a2efc8a1a1513ad045d7a" target="_blank">Paulo Santos</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Another way of expressing <i>encaminhamento</i> is that SATA's fares to (and from) Lisbon are now the same from all islands in the Azores. And this applies whether you're a resident or a tourist: the only qualification for your free flight to, say, Flores, is that you spend less than 24 hours on the island where you initially landed from the continent.<br />
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And crucially, it's not just SATA's fares that have been equalised: you get your free onward ticket to Flores (or wherever) on SATA even if you arrived from the continent on easyJet or Ryanair!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yV0Ows_8Ssk/VRnmKV9LESI/AAAAAAAAJaw/bikhjk7hX5Y/s1600/SATA%2BCorvo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yV0Ows_8Ssk/VRnmKV9LESI/AAAAAAAAJaw/bikhjk7hX5Y/s1600/SATA%2BCorvo.jpg" height="271" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Corvo Airport - photo credit <a href="http://www.airliners.net/photo/SATA-Air-Acores/Bombardier-DHC-8-202Q-Dash/2297238/L/&sid=f900efb2eb4cfea5e3c7220d685e9210" target="_blank">Markus Mainka</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Will we actually benefit from the advent of the low cost airlines and <i>encaminhamento</i>?<br />
<br />
I'm awfae' cynical (can you believe that?) and find it hard to believe you ever get anything for nothing. Are Ryanair and easyJet actually any cheaper? In our experience of flying to the UK from Lisbon, TAP or British Airways can often be equally competitive with Easy/Ryan once frequency and timing of available flights are considered.<br />
<br />
And within the Azores, unless the Azorean Government (which is devolved (autonomous) within Portugal like Scotland in the UK) has upped SATA's subsidy, presumably the prices of flights from PDL to LIS have had to increase to pay for the now free flights from FLW (<i>et al</i>) to PDL, to the detriment of those who already live in PDL. Bear in mind that the population of the six Azorean islands which don't have direct flights to Lisbon is only 15% of the total so perhaps the marginal increase to give that 15% a boon is hardly noticeable to the 85%.<br />
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SATA is wholly owned by the Azorean Government and only exists with public subsidy to maintain "lifeline" links to remote islands. In this, SATA is identical to Caledonian MacBrayne, the state owned shipping company which serves the islands off the west coast of Scotland.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1MkyDstuVC8/VRnh7c_r0-I/AAAAAAAAJaU/glQDxDUdfOo/s1600/Lord%2Bof%2Bthe%2BIsles%3Dflickr-dunard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1MkyDstuVC8/VRnh7c_r0-I/AAAAAAAAJaU/glQDxDUdfOo/s1600/Lord%2Bof%2Bthe%2BIsles%3Dflickr-dunard.jpg" height="301" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit - <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/finlayoman/16248144917/in/photolist-8xMxoU-cda64j-9S7YnA-HFPy8-qKMZpB-6BkgAM-9SYQRJ-63qada-3ZCXB3-5TCytq-4CdCa4-6uT4h2-9S4Tpe-7nUvgC-cPcxjL-9PVC1h-8njPA5-9R4WaN-dFjdwC-deErYg-egERG1-cBuMPw-8mjxhv-8mgJ87" target="_blank">Finlay Oman</a></td></tr>
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The Scottish islands differ from the Azores in that, being closer to the mainland, a far greater percentage of passengers (and their cars) travel on the ro-ro ferries which also carry the cargo. And although everyone loves to hate Calmac, the very mention of privatisation or even allowing a private sector competitor on to the scene brings down a shit-storm of abuse.<br />
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But the Scottish Government recently introduced a new fare scheme called "Road Equivalent Tariff" (RET). This is that the fare to take a vehicle on a Calmac ship should be the same as the cost of driving it the same distance as the ferry crossing. And that passenger fares be the same as a bus or railway ticket of equal length.<br />
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RET has indeed resulted in an across the board reduction of shipping costs in Scotland. So perhaps I need to park my cynicism and view <i>encaminhamento </i>as another example of an imaginative approach to rationalising fares on lifeline services and reducing them at the same time.<br />
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<i>Vamos ver</i>. It's an interesting question whether that translates as "Let's see" - which implies an open mind - or "We'll see" which implies a closed mind. Or as we Scots say "Aye, right."<br />
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Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-5171200733646545332015-03-27T00:57:00.000-01:002015-03-27T01:01:34.220-01:00TootsieContinuing with the theme (sort of) of the exigencies of island life and having to get stuff delivered, we have:- <br />
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(a) a mirror which has got a sort of a blotch on it (see above) so we need a replacement piece of mirror glass; and<br />
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(b) a sofa bed one of the foam cushions of which has gone saggy (see below) so we need a piece of foam<br />
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This presented sourcing challenges - do they sell cut to measure pieces of mirror glass on this island? And I'd be almost certain they don't sell made to measure cushion foam on Flores, but can it be sent here at reasonable expense?<br />
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First the foam. A bit of internet research led us to <a href="http://www.twfoam.co.uk/" target="_blank">TWFoam.</a> An e-mail correspondence with Tracy French at this company patiently answered numerous queries about foam densities suitable for sofa beds, wisdom or otherwise of stockinette covers and the inevitable postage costs to the Azores. Having double checked they really did mean £50 including p+p, I asked how I could pay and they said I should phone. Which I did. A bloke with a deep scouse accent answered and the conversation went as follows:-<br />
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NK - <i>Hello, my name's King, I've been in e-mail correspondence with Tracy ...</i><br />
Scouse bloke - <i>Yeah, that's me ...</i><br />
NK - <i>Oh, you don't sound like a Tracy ...</i><br />
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In the background, Carol was listening to this and was doubled up with mirth.<br />
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But had we been guilty of some grotesquely egregious transgender prejudice? I was momentarily gripped with an image of:-<br />
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Let's not dwell. The fact remains the foam arrived last week - no welching over the postage costs this time - and we are well happy with it. With hindsight, we now particularly value the tip on TWFoam's website to add an extra centimetre for a snugger fit and how the stockinette cover helps you slip it in more easily. As Tracy said to the bishop ...<br />
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Now for the mirror glass. I had my doubts they would sell it here. But Carol had more faith and suggested we go to Joao Lourenco, the biggest builders' merchants on Flores. The staff at JL are very good, particularly "User Friendly" Vera at the Sta Cruz branch and "Can Do" Carlos at Lajes.<br />
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Given my doubts, I'd been practising a long spiel in Portuguese along the lines of "I don't suppose by any remote chance ..." and also a lot of stuff about might it be possible to order from the continent with mental pictures in my mind about how expensive it would be to pack a piece of made to measure mirror glass in a bespoke wooden packing frame ...<br />
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In the end, I went in to JL's in Lajes, plonked the existing mirror on the desk and said to Can Do Carlos:-<br />
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<i>Pode ser?</i> [Any chance?]<br />
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To which CDC replied:-<br />
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<i>Sim</i> [yes]<br />
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... got out his tape measure, went through to the <i>armazem</i> (store) to cut it, came back and told me it was only 7,50€<br />
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Bob's your uncle [<i>Roberto e o teu tio</i>].<br />
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It reminded me of a scene in a Woody Allen film where he goes up to a jeweller's window and cuts a hole in the glass and it's not the jewellery he wants but the piece of glass. Ring a bell?<br />
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<br />Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-77131239019204105322015-03-15T00:17:00.001-01:002015-03-15T00:35:47.730-01:00Dia do balde amarelhoIt means "Day of the Yellow Bucket" but if you're imaging it's the Portuguese translation of a Cold War spy novel in the genre of Hill of the Red Fox or Day of the Jackal, you'd be wrong. It is in fact ... well, let me explain.<br />
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Yesterday, I was asking Fernando when a certain event had taken place and he told me it was on "<i>dia do balde amarelho</i>". I understood what he meant immediately: Wednesday, the day when the yellow recycling buckets are collected.<br />
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Naming days of the week after the colour of the bucket collected is far easier for us English speakers, with our penchant for Roman and Anglo-Saxon deities, to understand than the Portuguese convention which is:-<br />
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Monday - <i>segunda feira</i><br />
Tuesday - <i>terca feira</i><br />
Wednesday - <i>quarta feira</i><br />
Thursday - <i>quinta feira</i><br />
Friday - <i>sexta feira</i><br />
<br />
Saturday and Sunday are easy enough (<i>sabado </i>and <i>domingo</i>) but which idiot decided that Monday was the <u>second</u> day of the week? (Answer own question - a Seventh Day Adventist, obviously). After nine years of living here (yes!), I have just got my head round the fact that Monday is <i>segunda</i> and that Friday is <i>sexta</i>. I'm half way to accepting that <i>terca</i> is Tuesday (which is also helpfully <i>dia do balde verde </i>(bottles)) but I still have to count my fingers to remind myself what Wednesday and Thursday are - and remember not to count the first finger. This is not recommended when driving.<br />
<br />
Hence, Wednesday being yellow bucket day instead of fourth (yes?) is immensely helpful although this alternative recycling nomenclature does have its limitations in that the fifth bucket (paper) is only emptied every second blue. I don't have enough fingers for that.<br />
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In a future post, I'm going to explain how, not content with naming days of the week in a thoroughly illogical manner, in Portuguese, I can't come to you or bring anything with me. I have to <u>go</u> to you and <u>take</u> it: the Portuguese for "just coming" is <i>ja vou</i> which is "just going".<br />
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Getting your head round that is in a different league from possessive adjectives (his/her) being gendered according to the object rather than the subject. And this apparent lack of spatial dynamic is odd coming from the people who (a) discovered Brazil; and (b) perhaps because of (a) not only have two parallel versions of here and there (<i>aqui</i>/<i>ali</i> and <i>ca/</i><i>la</i>) but also a third dimension in which <i>ai</i> is "there" but in the sense of "where you are" whether that be in the same room as me or in a different continent.<br />
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But I still think all of this pales into insignificance next to the mental gymnastics involved in saying "See you on Wednesday". Until I discovered you can say <i>Ate amarelho!</i><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GDRv044b-Kc/VQTZerTNYBI/AAAAAAAAJXE/W3TK1ilfKzI/s1600/IMG_0067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GDRv044b-Kc/VQTZerTNYBI/AAAAAAAAJXE/W3TK1ilfKzI/s1600/IMG_0067.JPG" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<i> </i> Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-14672399584787998312015-03-01T23:50:00.000-01:002015-03-02T20:57:49.369-01:00The welchers' guide to contract law with Buyforlessonline.co.uk<br />
They do a good job the shops on Flores: their offering has expanded in the nine years we've been here but remains of necessity limited so thank goodness for being able to buy online through the likes of Amazon and eBay. Delivery charges are an issue, though - an inevitable part of island life and we regularly find ourselves choosing according to the delivery rather than the actual price of the item.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-esPSl9VOeLU/VPOx6EJFvII/AAAAAAAAJWQ/YygRoz8znww/s1600/bench%2B10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-esPSl9VOeLU/VPOx6EJFvII/AAAAAAAAJWQ/YygRoz8znww/s1600/bench%2B10.jpg" height="335" width="400" /></a></div>
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The other day, we ordered a garden bench off Amazon. It wasn't the cheapest but the delivery was a stonkingly competetive £5.00 (6,50€/$7.50) so we bought. 24 hours later came the "Your product has been dispatched" e-mail and then a few hours after that:-<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_iHLWXP9V28/VPN2bwB4JrI/AAAAAAAAJUE/xq745IzgxKg/s1600/Bench.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_iHLWXP9V28/VPN2bwB4JrI/AAAAAAAAJUE/xq745IzgxKg/s1600/Bench.jpg" height="236" width="400" /></a></div>
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"No! No-No! No-No-No!" I said in same tone of voice as Basil Fawlty when he discovered that a couple sharing a double room were not married.<br />
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For the remainder of this post, I'm just going to paste up the exchange of e-mails (click them to enlarge). Any first year law students looking in will find this informative.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IK6ZE5KFz-U/VPN4eWHJ1tI/AAAAAAAAJUQ/3d_bg0GoVxU/s1600/Bench%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IK6ZE5KFz-U/VPN4eWHJ1tI/AAAAAAAAJUQ/3d_bg0GoVxU/s1600/Bench%2B2.jpg" height="88" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U-F73HQ24P0/VPN_Z2FWcmI/AAAAAAAAJUs/c1q9WT7ixLQ/s1600/Bench%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U-F73HQ24P0/VPN_Z2FWcmI/AAAAAAAAJUs/c1q9WT7ixLQ/s1600/Bench%2B4.jpg" height="97" width="400" /></a></div>
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Any idea I entertained about that causing Kate, Charlotte and Lesley to go scurrying for their (presumably pristine) copy of<i> Gloag on Contract (13th ed.) </i>was dashed. Guess what they replied:-</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-51PQR6iizio/VPOXrkNV80I/AAAAAAAAJVw/CWsyObwf_Jg/s1600/Bench%2B9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-51PQR6iizio/VPOXrkNV80I/AAAAAAAAJVw/CWsyObwf_Jg/s1600/Bench%2B9.jpg" height="113" width="400" /></a></div>
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It would appear that, in this online age, the law of contract has moved on since I retired: the old certainties of White & Carter Councils have been overturned by the brocard <i>paenitemus de incommodo causatur. </i>At least I have the remedy of <i>actio relinquat responsione negativa</i></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HO-lOccQwfU/VPOwvv7nHMI/AAAAAAAAJWA/1dumAWgMwx0/s1600/trustpilot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HO-lOccQwfU/VPOwvv7nHMI/AAAAAAAAJWA/1dumAWgMwx0/s1600/trustpilot.jpg" height="276" width="400" /></a></div>
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My review on Amazon didn't get published. They sent me an e-mail urging me to revise and resubmit it but keeping in mind their guidelines and in particular the need to refrain from obscene or profane language. <br />
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Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-2939531100008527932015-02-05T16:34:00.001-01:002015-02-05T16:34:07.501-01:00Easties lookalike #2Has anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between disgraced former rock star and serial sex offender Gary Glitter and Stan Carter in Eastenders played by Tim "Luvvie Dah'ling" West? If they are related, then someone should at least warn Cora ...<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MnRl3sEhdU4/VNOpKVjozzI/AAAAAAAAJQ0/VFo8J6gAXBE/s1600/glitter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MnRl3sEhdU4/VNOpKVjozzI/AAAAAAAAJQ0/VFo8J6gAXBE/s1600/glitter.jpg" height="262" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">West Glitter</td></tr>
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Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-23605268520458359232014-10-02T13:21:00.003+00:002014-10-02T13:26:17.796+00:00Easties lookalikeHas anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between multi-Olympic gold winning British athlete, Dame Kelly Holmes, DBE, and Tosh off Easties. I'm given to understand that appearance is not the only thing they share in common. If by any chance they are related, then don't tell Shirl.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p590rlTFv1Y/VC1Q8nSPG8I/AAAAAAAAJBA/S0pRHk_5lQk/s1600/tosh.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p590rlTFv1Y/VC1Q8nSPG8I/AAAAAAAAJBA/S0pRHk_5lQk/s1600/tosh.png" height="195" width="400" /></a></div>
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Holmes Tosh</div>
Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-61602750568431889382014-06-22T14:06:00.001+00:002014-06-22T17:51:48.394+00:00World Cup lookalikeSurely I can't be the only person to have noticed the uncanny resemblance between Bayern Munich and Germany midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger and Hauptmann Ullmann off Colditz:-<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z-ffXuOjRiU/U6bhkOkvoeI/AAAAAAAAI08/Mde9sSas1js/s1600/Ullmann-Schweinsteiger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z-ffXuOjRiU/U6bhkOkvoeI/AAAAAAAAI08/Mde9sSas1js/s1600/Ullmann-Schweinsteiger.jpg" height="222" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Schweinsteiger Ullmann</td></tr>
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It's not so much a question of wondering whether by any chance they're related as uncovering just how closely they're related.Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-83277566118877674662014-06-02T21:42:00.000+00:002014-06-02T21:42:08.210+00:00LookalikeHas anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between octogenarian Australian entertainer Rolf Harris as depicted by the court artist during his trial for indecencies too egregious to mention and Ted "Cheers" Danson?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ra284B3YabE/U4zuZluPNLI/AAAAAAAAIzQ/kC8axN4unCE/s1600/Rolf+Harris+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ra284B3YabE/U4zuZluPNLI/AAAAAAAAIzQ/kC8axN4unCE/s1600/Rolf+Harris+2.jpg" height="222" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Danson Harris</td></tr>
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Has Ted been accused of anything yet? Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-78352639150189269242014-05-08T00:23:00.002+00:002014-05-08T00:23:52.543+00:00Faja Grande webcamA webcam overlooking Faja Grande started today - view it <a href="http://www.spotazores.com/cams/faja-grande?lang=en" target="_blank">here</a><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QKUNdwsD6-o/U2qF11TbjRI/AAAAAAAAIwo/Xx_QIJGe62Q/s1600/FG+Webcam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QKUNdwsD6-o/U2qF11TbjRI/AAAAAAAAIwo/Xx_QIJGe62Q/s1600/FG+Webcam.jpg" height="400" width="355" /></a></div>
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It must be situated near the church in Ponta da Faja so that the view is looking south to FG about a mile (1.5km) away:-<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7whwO3nOG1M/U2qGaxltlkI/AAAAAAAAIww/Fb1Ymtwwldk/s1600/webcam+ge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7whwO3nOG1M/U2qGaxltlkI/AAAAAAAAIww/Fb1Ymtwwldk/s1600/webcam+ge.jpg" height="352" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">X marks the spot of our house</td></tr>
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There's also a new webcam over <a href="http://www.spotazores.com/cams/santa-cruz-das-flores?lang=en" target="_blank">Santa Cruz</a> - in the screen grab below, note the SATA aeroplane taking off (boxed red) and Flores' satellite island of Corvo on the horizon with its distinctive hat of cloud (yellow)<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FbZnO3PuF5A/U2qI8-nOrmI/AAAAAAAAIw8/YiJh8ZHIue8/s1600/webcam+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FbZnO3PuF5A/U2qI8-nOrmI/AAAAAAAAIw8/YiJh8ZHIue8/s1600/webcam+1.jpg" height="317" width="400" /></a></div>
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The view is looking generally north east over the town and runway thus:-<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-moI-cb0nc9U/U2qKjQYPHzI/AAAAAAAAIxI/uamXGK5vlZQ/s1600/webcam+ge+sc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-moI-cb0nc9U/U2qKjQYPHzI/AAAAAAAAIxI/uamXGK5vlZQ/s1600/webcam+ge+sc.jpg" height="317" width="400" /></a></div>
These two new webcams are in addition to the one that's been around for a few years over the harbour at <a href="http://www.climaat.angra.uac.pt/WebCams/index2.htm" target="_blank">Lajes</a><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aYb2zWjc8Rk/U2qZqdYuOvI/AAAAAAAAIxY/5STwewBSQUM/s1600/Webcam.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aYb2zWjc8Rk/U2qZqdYuOvI/AAAAAAAAIxY/5STwewBSQUM/s1600/Webcam.JPG" height="303" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Library picture from 2012</td></tr>
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All these webcams tend to promote a bit of an unhealthy tendency at 5RdA towards obsessing about arrivals and departures - especially when you couple them with the <a href="http://www.marinetraffic.com/ais/home" target="_blank">Marine Traffic</a> and <a href="http://www.flightradar24.com/39.86,-16.73/6" target="_blank">Flight Radar</a> websites allowing you to track the progress of the ship or plane you're interested in when outwith the watchful eye of the webcam. It's of importance to us when we're expecting guests or awaiting deliveries from the continent on the fortnightly ship.<br />
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Thus, for example, tonight, we're expecting a batch of stuff from IKEA and a new exhaust for the car on the ship due to arrive tomorrow morning and, as I type this, I can verify that the good ship <i>M/S Sete Cidades</i> is on schedule (not always to be taken for granted) sailing from Pico:-<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oPRa95cf2jI/U2rEZ9oPZpI/AAAAAAAAIxo/uah2SyDpqiE/s1600/Marine+Traffic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oPRa95cf2jI/U2rEZ9oPZpI/AAAAAAAAIxo/uah2SyDpqiE/s1600/Marine+Traffic.jpg" height="207" width="400" /></a></div>
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In the air (important for arriving and departing guests), here's Flight TP1828 from Terceira to Lisbon on Flight Radar earlier:-<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3ITBsfSP65Q/U2rFnn4IerI/AAAAAAAAIx0/1R651_5dqXM/s1600/flight+radar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3ITBsfSP65Q/U2rFnn4IerI/AAAAAAAAIx0/1R651_5dqXM/s1600/flight+radar.jpg" height="216" width="400" /></a></div>
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FR doesn't seem to pick up the small inter-island planes but flights to and from Ponta Delgada can be cross-referenced to the <a href="http://www.spotazores.com/cams/aeroporto-de-ponta-delgada?lang=en" target="_blank">PDL webcam</a><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7ln4CDmU27s/U2rGhvXtRhI/AAAAAAAAIx8/frUgTtIQiDo/s1600/webcam+pd+airport.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7ln4CDmU27s/U2rGhvXtRhI/AAAAAAAAIx8/frUgTtIQiDo/s1600/webcam+pd+airport.jpg" height="361" width="400" /></a></div>
This can all get pretty absorbing, I can tell you (especially if you go to the 3D cockpit view on Flight Radar). It's just as well I'm retired and have enough time to keep an eye on all this - it's not safe for work.<br />
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They've got Google Streetview on Sao Miguel and Terceira now and it won't belong before, if you've ever fancied visiting the Azores, you won't need to bother! There's no such thing as a remote island anymore. (Note to self to not scratch arse on way down to shop to get bread in case caught by Google car in coming months.)<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OtIQF7lTyzc/U2rLb3z6r2I/AAAAAAAAIyI/5pg4CigCzXM/s1600/IMG_5284.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OtIQF7lTyzc/U2rLb3z6r2I/AAAAAAAAIyI/5pg4CigCzXM/s1600/IMG_5284.JPG" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-67306018227515038042014-05-04T00:52:00.000+00:002014-05-04T00:52:32.085+00:00Whale watching<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0-u72-5Zi6g/U2V7QNC0G2I/AAAAAAAAIvg/H2RIB_-x7Vg/s1600/IMG_0724.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0-u72-5Zi6g/U2V7QNC0G2I/AAAAAAAAIvg/H2RIB_-x7Vg/s1600/IMG_0724.JPG" height="265" width="400" /></a><br />
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That's the view from our sitting room window and one of the most frequently asked questions is "Do you ever see whales?"<br />
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Nope, never is the answer to that so imagine my surprise when I was giving Fernando a lift from Ponta the other day and he said excitedly "<i>Viste a baleia?</i>" (Have you seen the whale?)<br />
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"<i>O que? No mar?</i>" (What? In the sea?) I replied, idiotically. "<i>Não, no ar!</i>" (No, in the air!) retorted Fernando - it was his little joke.<br />
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Turned out, however, that my response was not entirely moronic as the whale in question was, in fact, a dead one on the beach. Nevertheless, it's an event which has caused as much excitement in Faja Grande as if the remains of MH370 had been washed up on our shores.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JQy0eD8K64E/U2V_TRd_tDI/AAAAAAAAIvs/XVq2q9GVO7I/s1600/IMG_5248.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JQy0eD8K64E/U2V_TRd_tDI/AAAAAAAAIvs/XVq2q9GVO7I/s1600/IMG_5248.JPG" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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Sorry for that rather long distance shot but I didn't want to go that close as I've seen what can happen to dead whales (skip to 00.50):-<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/d2CfYOJ5oxk?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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In fact, the blob in the photo above was only the forward section of the whale - it's stern half had broken off and was grounded a few hundred yards along the shore (the white thing in the photo below).<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-boKqx4kiAwA/U2WAsepDINI/AAAAAAAAIv4/T54EYVcmEtY/s1600/IMG_5249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-boKqx4kiAwA/U2WAsepDINI/AAAAAAAAIv4/T54EYVcmEtY/s1600/IMG_5249.JPG" height="265" width="400" /></a><br />
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The absence of smell or pecking sea birds suggested the thing had already been dead for quite a long time before it washed up on Flores. Fernando reckoned it to be a <i>cachalote</i> - sperm whale.<br />
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In times past, a dead whale was reckoned a boon to the locals in terms of food and fuel resources. So much so that, in Scotland, a beached whale is legally the property of the Crown - a prize to be granted to a favoured subject. Nowadays, of course, they're perceived as health and safety hazards prompting some local authorities to suggest that Her Majesty may care to get her galoshes on and deal with her property personally rather than burden the rate payers. Tsk! Some people just <i>olhar cavalos de presente na boca</i>! <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AA2EMZyoVRk/U2WLN-2U9UI/AAAAAAAAIwY/PPFss895pR0/s1600/Beached+Whale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AA2EMZyoVRk/U2WLN-2U9UI/AAAAAAAAIwY/PPFss895pR0/s1600/Beached+Whale.jpg" height="280" width="400" /></a></div>
Be all that as it may, the foregoing represents the sum and substance of my whale watching experience on this island to date. Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-52156922437112210552014-04-13T00:25:00.002+00:002014-04-13T00:25:27.092+00:00TV MomentsIt's more than 20 years ago now but who can forget British television's first lesbian kiss? The heart-achingly gorgeous <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0295484/" target="_blank">Anna Friel</a> and a sort of OK-ish other chick nobody can remember the name of now. Here it is:-<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/yZV6mHDuDS4?rel=0" width="480"></iframe> <br />
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Looks a bit tame nowadays, doesn't it?<br />
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Anyway, another UK soap, Eastenders, recently achieved another TV taboo first - Britain's first screen fart:-<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/rGh-MflOPZA" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Isn't that gross? You can almost smell it, can't you?<br />
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What would you rather watch? The delectable Anna getting busy with another babe (albeit in a sort chaste early 90s sort of way) or horrible Nancy Carter dropping a whiffer upstairs in the Vic in the arms of her <i>father </i>for Chrissakes?<br />
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You're probably wondering why I'm raising this. It's that fibre optic cable and the fact that, since it was installed last October, we can watch YouTube vids if we want to. Everything, from Anna's lezza snog to Nancy's trump, is there if you want it. All thanks to that big ship that appeared off the coast last year towing a cable behind it:-<br />
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<br />Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-7849525416746271652013-11-26T11:13:00.001-01:002013-11-26T11:13:48.253-01:00LookalikeSurely I'm not the only one to have noticed the remarkable resemblance between Scottish Gnashionalist Party leader Alex Salmond and recently cleared of sex offences Street star, Michael ("Kevin Webster") Le Vell:-<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-m6gCqEw5OS8/UpSOEkyreNI/AAAAAAAAImc/_nyvh9-2uXM/s1600/Salmond.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-m6gCqEw5OS8/UpSOEkyreNI/AAAAAAAAImc/_nyvh9-2uXM/s400/Salmond.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Le Vell Salmond</td></tr>
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I wonder if by any chance they're related? I think Scottish voters should be told (and Sally). <br />
Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-64474036188393064722013-09-29T23:46:00.001+00:002013-09-30T00:15:21.566+00:00Regime changeToday was the day of the local elections (<i>eleiçoes autárquicas</i>) in Portugal and I can tell you there has been regime change in the <i>concelho </i>of Lajes das Flores.<br />
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The <i>Partido Socialista </i>(centre left - equivalent of Labour in the UK) candidate Luis Maciel has beat PSD (can't remember what it stands for - orange T-shirt lot, equivalent of Tories in Britain) candidate Alice Ramos. This is significant because the PSD has been in power in LdF for as long as anyone can remember - the reversal may be due to long term PSD <i>presidente</i>, local businessman João Lourenço, having reached the limit of his 150 terms in power.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0_Uv0yPzDTg/UkiUGC7SgEI/AAAAAAAAIdE/Vjj2_SVJxX4/s1600/Maciel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0_Uv0yPzDTg/UkiUGC7SgEI/AAAAAAAAIdE/Vjj2_SVJxX4/s400/Maciel.jpg" width="376" /></a></div>
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Note the advertising on the <u>www.autarquicas2013.pt</u> website depicted above. At the top is an advert for the Casa do Rei restaurant in Lajes (which I can tell you is very good) while at the bottom is one for Single Ukranian Ladies. Given how closely targetted the first ad was, I'm wondering if the second reveals an equally closely targetted unmet need in the southern half of this island I'm not aware of which the new administration needs to get to work on <i>ja pronto</i>.<br />
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Below is the results in more detail:-<br />
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Quite a big swing to the PS. Last time, in 2009, it was exactly the opposite (54% PSD/45% PS). The result for the <i>junta da freguesia</i> (parish council) of Faja Grande is also interesting:-<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DOL_f6LAP6w/UkigopqBMzI/AAAAAAAAIdg/GJ52XPm1w0w/s1600/FG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DOL_f6LAP6w/UkigopqBMzI/AAAAAAAAIdg/GJ52XPm1w0w/s400/FG.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Change of party (PSD to PS again) but <i>not</i> change of people in that outgoing <i>presidente </i>of FG, our neighbour Maria Lidia Oliveira, recently changed party allegiance and is returned under her new affiliation. Which just goes to prove that politics <i>is</i> about personalities rather than policies.<br />
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As I was typing just then, there was a motorcade of cars down the road, all tooting their horns and with people hanging out the windows waving flags. Tahrir Square it is not but the Euros do elections rather more exuberantly than we Brits what with the winning candidate dutifully thanking the returning officer and his team for counting the votes. And note these 80+% turnouts - you'd be hard pushed to get 50% out at a British local election.<br />
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Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-25765896039091699602013-09-10T01:20:00.001+00:002013-09-10T19:58:50.296+00:00Fibre optic cableFor as long as we've lived on this island (seven years now, amazingly enough!), the talk has always been about the long awaited fibre optic cable to bring us faster broadband. For a while, it's been promised for "fourth quarter 2013" but I've always said I'll believe it when I see a big ship with a big roll of cable on the back and not a moment before.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dGqjnJyg4iA/Ui5VMFa9mlI/AAAAAAAAIbo/Xt7IXPG-pgc/s1600/Interceptor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dGqjnJyg4iA/Ui5VMFa9mlI/AAAAAAAAIbo/Xt7IXPG-pgc/s400/Interceptor.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photocredit <a href="http://www.shipspotting.com/gallery/photo.php?lid=1636647" target="_blank">shipspotting.com</a></td></tr>
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Well I can tell you that such a ship - the MV <i>IT Interceptor</i> (pictured above) - is steaming towards the Azores as I type this. Below is the latest image from <a href="http://www.marinetraffic.com/ais/default.aspx?centerx=30&centery=25&zoom=2&level1=140#" target="_blank">Marinetraffic.com</a> showing her course (light blue line coming in from the top) towards Ponta Delgada on Sao Miguel.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8zXnHrt7w4o/Ui5Tn2PuTqI/AAAAAAAAIbc/29jdDq9SzMs/s1600/Ship+AIS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8zXnHrt7w4o/Ui5Tn2PuTqI/AAAAAAAAIbc/29jdDq9SzMs/s400/Ship+AIS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I gather that, from Ponta Delgada, the <i>IT Interceptor</i> will then steam west to Faial (the nearest island to Flores already linked by fibre optic) from where, on Friday (13 September), it will begin to lay the cable.<br />
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Apparently, a fibre optic cable is thinner than a human hair. Presumably this means it must be frightfully easy to get it tangled up. I'm thinking of bitter experience when I used to troll a fishing line out behind a boat as a child and if one of the spinner things got snagged and didn't spin, then the whole thing was in a bugger's muddle before you could say "terabyte of data". I expect the crew of the IT Interceptor will have got their spinner things properly greased up before they set off from Faial but I hope they don't fall into the same trap the crew of the <i>Great Eastern</i> did.<br />
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The <i>GE</i> was an overly large steamship built by the Victorian engineer Brunel which was ahead of its time in terms of mass transport. After disappointments too numerous to mention (pictured above - imagine today mischievous press coverage of an A380 running into severe turbulence on its maiden flight), the <i>GE</i> was pensioned off to the alternative use of laying telegraph cables across the Atlantic because it was the only ship at the time big enough to carry such huge rolls of cable. These were in the days when cables were as thick as tree trunks except not as flexible:-<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M1QBlOHefyM/Ui5iRuRA7hI/AAAAAAAAIcE/ftkCaFvlWyc/s1600/cable.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M1QBlOHefyM/Ui5iRuRA7hI/AAAAAAAAIcE/ftkCaFvlWyc/s400/cable.jpg" width="345" /></a></div>
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Anyway, when they were unrolling the cable off the back of the <i>Great Eastern</i>, somewhere in the vicinity of Faial as I recall, they only went and dropped the end of the fucking thing into the sea, 3,000 miles out from Land's End or wherever they'd set off from!<br />
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Nowadays, we have risk assessment (to tell you not to do things) and loss adjusters (to tell risk assessors not to do things). In previous generations, you had officers and gentlemen who, having embarked on something appallingly dangerous, didn't give up without a fight. The greatest example of this was Captain Bligh (Tony Hopkins) of Mutiny on the Bounty fame. As you'll recall, his mission was to get bread fruit from Tahiti and take it to the West Indies. But to make it more of a challenge, he decided to go via Cape Horn, failed in that so went the other way to Tahiti instead, suffered a mutiny by Fletcher Christian (Mel Gibson), navigated the rowing boat he was chucked in to all the way to Australia, got back to Britain where he was court-martialled (Larry Olivier, Edward Fox). Upon being acquitted, what do you think he did next? If it had been me, I wouldn't have set foot on another boat as long as I lived. But Bligh only set off to Tahiti again and took the bread fruit to the Caribbean!<br />
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But I digress, where was I? Oh yes, dropping the end of the cable off the back of the <i>Great Eastern</i> into the mid-Atlantic. I wouldn't reach in up to my elbow to get my car keys back but Captain What'sname of the <i>GE</i> decided to go fishing for the cable 20,000 leagues under the sea with nothing so much as a grappling iron. And he found it, pulled it back on board, coupled it up to the next length and next stop Long Island! Put that in your Global Positioning System and smoke it! I know about this because I've got a book which by coincidence I bought at Heathrow on the way out to the Azores on holiday for the first ever time in Jan 2004. Little did I know so much of the action would take place off the coast of my destination then and have such a resonance for where I live now.<br />
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Aye, well, there you go, as we Scots say. I trust the crew of the <i>IT Interceptor</i> will not have any such alarms and excursions. Although I do have a bit of a mental image of them arriving off the coast of Flores and someone loud hails ashore "OK, we've got it here, where do we plug it in?" And a harrassed <i>Portugal Telecom</i> official calls back "What do you mean "where do we plug it in"? I thought you were dealing with that ...". <i> </i><br />
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That's the sort of thing that happens here, I kid you not. <i>Vamos ver</i> as we Portuguese say but there's another little ill omen apart from the fact laying the cable is scheduled to start next Friday, the 13th. The <i>IT Interceptor's</i> previous name was <i>Atlantida</i> which was also the name of the ill-fated car ferry ordered by the Azores Government in 2007 from the Portuguese Government but never taken delivery of because it allegedly didn't come up to contract specifications. The ensuing acrimony is an ongoing saga to this day too tedious to recount (you think the Scotland v UK posturing is petty?) but see <a href="http://ailhadasflores.blogspot.pt/2013/09/acores-penhoraram-navio-atlantida.html" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-55523553410114929582013-09-08T01:51:00.000+00:002013-09-08T01:51:45.713+00:00If I were a boyIt's the second weekend of September which means it's Carol's birthday and Faja Grande's annual <i>festa</i>.<br />
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For us that means two things, one we go out for dinner and, two, a band is thumping out tunes outside the church till about 4am. It also signifies a weekend when you recognise summer has begun to turn into autumn. Below is last year with a distinctly autumnal hue in the air.<br />
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This year has seen a number of differences. First, it's still freakingly hot weather-wise without the slightest hint of autumn round the corner. But more importantly, there's a different band fronting the Faja <i>festa </i>this year.<br />
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This year's and last year's bands have in common that they mostly play traditional Portuguese songs but have one - I'm struggling for the words to describe it and all I can come up with is - "western rock tune" they produce. For last year's band (same band - Captain Morgan and his Hammond Organ - for the last seven years), that tune was one by a group I can't remember the name of but it's a continent: as long as I've lived on this island, I associate Carol's birthday with "The Final Countdown." In my dotage, I find that embedding a Youtube video eludes me but this is the link. I think <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw" target="_blank">The Final Countdown</a><br />
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But this year it's all disturbingly different. A new band and this year's departure from "My conchita she has left me" and similar Portuguese classics (trad. ar.) is, of all things, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm1g8FFRArc" target="_blank">"By the Rivers of Babylon"</a><br />
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It gives the word "incongruous" new meaning.<br />
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I don't like change at my time of life so it's just as well Carol's birthday dinner at Jorge's provided a soothing balm. The best restaurant in the whole world world just happens to be in Faja Grande:<br />
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As I type this (1.19am), the band are bumping out what we call the "Boomp-Terah Boomp-Terah" song for what may be the 67th time this weekend. But it's sort of reassuring. I'd be far more worried if they were attempting "Let it be" or "If I were a boy".<br />
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<br />Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-34233893099222870282013-05-17T01:29:00.000+00:002013-05-17T01:29:29.041+00:00Fork HandlesThere's a classic BBC TV comedy sketch by "the Two Ronnies" in which a customer (Ronnie Barker) goes into a hardware (ironmongery - <i>ferragens</i>) shop and asks for four candles.<br />
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The bloke behind the counter (Ronnie Corbett) goes off, up a ladder, and eventually returns and says "There you are - four candles."<br />
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To which the customer replies "Nah, fork handles"<br />
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That sort of thing caused ratings busting gales of mirth in the early 1970s but is dated nowadays. I only mention it because I had a fork handles moment with Victor the plumber yesterday.<br />
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Victor was installing a new <i>autoclismo</i> - which sounds like a Woody Allen orgasmotron but is nothing so banal as a toilet cistern - in a house that doesn't belong to us but we manage for its owners. But Victor ran into problems when he discovered the seal supplied with the cistern wouldn't fit the <i>sanita </i>- that's the bit you sit on (or stand in front of according to gender and function to be performed). What was needed, said Victor, was an <i>abraçadeira</i> but he didn't have any of the right size with him.<br />
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Worry not, said I, I have an <i>abraçadeira </i>of the right dimensions in the house, I'll go and fetch it. Off I went in the car, returned 15 minutes later, brandished it triumphantly and Victor said, in true Ronnie Barker style:-<br />
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"<i>Não</i>, <i>abraçadeira</i>"<br />
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What I had thought was required and had brought was a <i>jubilee clip</i>:-<br />
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But what Victor actually meant was a <i>cable tie</i>:- <br />
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For once, however, this was not me being a nincompoop - Portuguese appears to have only one word - <i>abraçadeira </i>- for items as diverse as jubilee clips and cable ties: "Well if you'd meant an <i>abraçadeira</i> why didn't you say <i>abraçadeira</i>!"<br />
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The point was reinforced when today I went into Avila, Fraga & Filhos - the best hardware shop in the whole world and which just happens to be in Sta Cruz das Flores - to get some <i>cable clips</i>:-<br />
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I asked Edgar in AF&F - who speaks immaculate English - what's the Portuguese word for these? He replied:- <i>abraçadeiras</i>.<br />
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As it happens, AF&F is self service but if it wasn't, I'd been <u>that close</u> to a multiple fork handle moment, sending Edgar back and forth, Ronnie Corbett style, potentially three times until he eventually brought me the exact type of <i>abraçadeira </i>I was looking for!<br />
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In fact Edgar had the last laugh when I asked him what the Portuguese for these was:-<br />
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He said he didn't know but reckoned it would be a <i>bucha</i>. Except <i>bucha</i> is to <i>buchas </i>what <i>abraçadeira </i>is to <i>abraçadeiras</i> so I wasn't going to let him off with that. But I didn't know what the English for one of these is either except for "that thing for attaching things to plasterboard that you didn't realise you'd need until you've drilled a hole the size of a South African diamond mine and covered yourself in dust ..."<br />
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Edgar checked the computer and discovered it's called a <i>bucha molly</i>. I still don't know the English word for them. It could be fork handle for all I know. It would be about as useful for hanging that blind from plasterboard ...<br />
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Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-64754611277885702512013-05-07T01:06:00.000+00:002013-05-17T01:31:46.428+00:00Tomato sandwich (another nautical tale from Flores)Last Sunday (28 April) was another driech day with strong east winds. Being on the west coast of the island should mean you're sheltered from easterlies but, in practice, what happens is vicious gusts scream down off the cliffs, whipping the surface off the sea. At one point, I glanced out the window and saw a white spot which I initially took to be spindrift but, on closer examination, turned out to be a yacht.<br />
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Having been a minor league yottie on the west coast of Scotland in a previous life (though only a coastal day sailor which is a totally different kettle of rabbits from cruising the oceans), I immediately reached for the binoculars and followed its progress, smashing through the heavy seas, beating to windward close hauled (that's yot-speak for something it would be too tedious to explain to non-yotties) southwards (right to left) until it disappeared from view.<br />
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About an hour later, however, the yacht re-appeared much closer inshore, coming from left to right now ...<br />
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Makes sense, I thought: harbour at Lajes totally untenable in easterly, probably better off in comparative shelter of west coast at Faja Grande even with these gusts off the cliffs (although by now, the wind had moderated somewhat). The fact the yacht had approached FG by first disappearing out of sight to the left (south) and then reappearing inshore going in the opposite direction (instead of heading straight in from the position in the first photo) also made perfect sense to me as a nautical cove for reasons which, once again, I'll spare you. What did appear odd, however, was that the yacht was now closing the coast with only its foresails (the ones in front of the mast) set. To my coastal sailor's mind that breaks every rule in the book and I ascribed it to some mystery of oceanic sailing I was uninitiated in. Curious, however, I went down to the seafront for a closer look.<br />
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If there is one rule in the yottie's book (be he coastal or offshore), it's that, whenever you attempt an unorthodox manoeuvre within sight of land, there will be someone on shore peering through binoculars making adverse comments ("What the hell's he doing that for?") Subsection (1) of that rule is that, once close enough in, the same person will drop the binoculars and begin to communicate with you by ambiguous hand gestures. One of these involves cupping his hands round his mouth with no apparent result. Subsection (2) involves a second person joining the first and making gestures which appear to contradict the first person's.<br />
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Having proverbially "been there, done that", I forebore from any attempt at communication with the yacht ("I say! Once you've dropped the hook - over THERE would be better! - do row ashore and pop up for pre-prandials!") Anyway, it was one of these days, weatherwise, getting dark soon as well, when I was pretty glad to be able to step back into a car and drive home rather than being on a yacht, keeping watch in the rain taking transits fretting about whether the anchor was going to hold.<br />
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The following morning (Monday, 29 April), I happened to glance out the window and see the Lajes pilot cutter apparently attempting to rendezvous with the yacht and take it under tow. <u>Very</u> difficult in a big sea but after <u>much</u> to-ing and fro-ing a line was secured and off they went.<br />
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I asked José António at the shop if he'd heard what the story was but he hadn't and, beyond looking at the <a href="http://www.climaat.angra.uac.pt/WebCams/index2.htm" target="_blank">Lajes webcam</a> to checking that the yacht had duly arrived there (it had) ...<br />
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... I didn't think about it again until Friday (3 May) when I got a tip that there was a blog by a solo yachtsman who'd fetched up in Flores in slightly fraught circumstances and did I know anything about this?<br />
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Turns out the yacht is called <i>Wild Song</i> and belongs to one Paul Heiney (British readers may recognise the name of the BBC radio presenter.) You can read the blog <a href="http://www.sailblogs.com/member/wildsong/" target="_blank">here</a> - for the approach to Flores, scroll down to the entry titled "Low in every sense" on 24 April and read up.<br />
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The long and short is, after cruising in Patagonia for the winter (our winter - summer in the Southern Hemisphere of course), <i>Wild Song</i> left Uruguay on 25 February bound for her home port of Falmouth, UK via a planned stop at Horta on Faial in the Azores (a popular yachtsman's harbour). After nearly two months at sea, <i>Wild Song</i> was within 140 mile of Horta when contrary winds drove her west. Moreover, the yacht's engine wouldn't start due to dirt in the dregs of the fuel tank. The main problem that caused was no power for the water maker. Hence Paul decided to make for Flores instead.<br />
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In the unseasonably awful weather we've been having this spring, he described the 48 hours around his arrival at this island as the worst in his yachting experience.<br />
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To add to the lack of an engine, <i>Wild Song's</i> mainsail tore catastrophically during the approach to the dubious shelter of Fajã Grande. That explains the unusual set of sails I observed. In anything but the most benign of conditions, a yacht is very difficult to manouevre without a mainsail. And having lobbed out 60 metres of chain to anchor at FG, which would be almost impossible to get back up by hand without the engine to power an electric windlass (machine to pull chain up), all these factors combined to make Paul (reluctantly as a very last resort, I should imagine from my own experience) call for help. This was achieved by phoning the UK coastguard on his mobile who contacted their opposite numbers in Portugal and the net upshot was the pilot cutter (boat) came round the next morning to tow <i>Wild Song</i> to Lajes - a distance of about 12 miles (19km). Note also that the pilot cutter is kept out of the water and have had to be launched by crane to meet this exigency.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">12 miles (19km) from FG to Lajes</td></tr>
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Four members of the pilot cutter's crew boarded <i>Wild Song</i> to assist with pulling up the anchor, a process which took 45 minutes (for any non-nautical coves still reading, it normally takes about 5 minutes, max).<br />
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But the troubles were only just beginning. With the yacht now free of her anchor, the tow rope to the pilot cutter broke five times before they got under way. On one occasion, Paul describes this as happening so close to the rocks of the shore, he could barely look. That must have been the lowest point of the worst 48 hours.<br />
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I watched this entire performance through the binoculars from my kitchen window and feel rather guilty now I was rubber-necking an event which must have been traumatic in the extreme for the participants.<br />
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Anyway, a happy ending. They duly arrived at Lajes. An engineer came and fixed the engine and attempted to only charge 6 Euros! The tow round from Faja Grande cost only 100 Euros which seems pretty blooming reasonable to me. All in all, I think Paul Heiney will have some good memories of my island despite his inauspicious arrival thereat.<br />
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As I type this, <i>Wild Song</i> is <i>en route</i> to Horta on Faial, 120 miles east, powered by a combination of light following winds and her engine as necessary. At Horta, she can get her main sail repaired (essential to face the long haul back to Britain).<br />
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I shall be following the blog with interest from hereon in. I was amused by the fact that, despite the trauma of his arrival in the Azores, Paul managed to pen the very shrewd observation that, in centuries gone by, sailors judged their proximity to land by smell, colour of the sea, seabirds, stuff floating in the water etc. etc. Nowadays, it's by a text message from Vodafone as your mobile phone acquires a signal saying "Welcome to Portugal! Calls to the UK cost ..."<br />
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How true!<br />
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And a post-script on reading the blog was Linda at the shop who said "A tomato sandwich? Where'd he get from the tomato from?" It's a not entirely tongue in cheek allusion to the scarcity of fresh veg on such a verdant island (and how the vast majority of such of it as we do get is imported from other Azores or even further afield). Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4109157903763444447.post-45786281574814627182013-05-03T00:39:00.002+00:002013-05-03T00:39:43.742+00:00Corvo - end of an eraLast month saw the end of an era for Corvo, Flores' satellite island 12 miles (19km) to the north with a population of 400.<br />
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Effective 7 April 2013, Corvo's cargo service ceases to be maintained by local Flores company, <i>Maré Ocidental</i> (literally "Western Tide"), and is replaced by a rival firm from the island of Pico, <i>Amaral Felicianos e Faria</i>, <i>Lda</i>. (AFF). <i>Maré Ocidental </i>has undertaken the Corvo sailings through three generations of the Lopes family: the first of these, the late <a href="http://ailhadasflores.blogspot.pt/2010/12/mestre-jose-augusto-lopes.html" target="_blank">José Augusto Lopes</a>, was awarded the Portuguese equivalent of an OBE in 1994 for services to his community:-<br />
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This may need some explaining for British readers. If Corvo were an island off the coast of Britain (typically Scotland), then cargo - i.e. stuff you take for granted that you can buy in shops and petrol and things like that - would go on a lorry which drives on to a ro-ro ferry at a place like Oban or Ullapool, drives off and delivers its stuff to the island shops, then drives back on to the ferry the following day and returns to the mainland. On Corvo, there is no lorry and the stuff (having arrived on Flores in containers in a container ship) gets loaded by a crane individually (on pallets or smaller containers) onto a little cargo ship. Apart from the very smallest of islands (Fair Isle, Foula and North Ronaldsay in Orkney and Shetland with an average population of about 50 are the only ones I can think of), that doesn't happen in Britain. Below is a picture of stuff for Corvo in a small container being loaded on to <i>Maré Ocidental's </i>ship, the <i>Santa Iria </i>at Lajes on Flores:-<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cwowz1BzTpk/UXW1WkT26II/AAAAAAAAIEk/A1jmYVePlJ8/s1600/IMG_2874.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cwowz1BzTpk/UXW1WkT26II/AAAAAAAAIEk/A1jmYVePlJ8/s400/IMG_2874.JPG" width="265" /></a></div>
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What that picture doesn't capture is that the <i>Santa Iria </i>was heaving about at the pier in the swell making it an extremely skillful job for the crane operator to drop the container into the hold - note the dimesions of the aperture in the ship's deck relative to the size of the container. Not easy. Below is a picture of the <i>Santa Iria</i> unloading at Corvo:-<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uvHsNd0VmBA/UXXKKq-mUEI/AAAAAAAAIE0/e0eDAgQHH0c/s1600/IMG_5701.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uvHsNd0VmBA/UXXKKq-mUEI/AAAAAAAAIE0/e0eDAgQHH0c/s400/IMG_5701.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Note the strong similarity between the <i>Santa Iria</i> and the <i>Good Shepherd IV</i> which serves <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_Isle" target="_blank">Fair Isle</a>, an island (pop. 69) 25 miles (40km) from Shetland in Scotland:-<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="276" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FoqCpZL39CU/UXXMEJnDUwI/AAAAAAAAIFE/2GAW_n6Uf2c/s400/good+shepherd-shipsnos-ian+leask.JPG" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit <a href="http://www.shipsnostalgia.com/gallery/showphoto.php/photo/354818/title/good-shepherd-1v/cat/502" target="_blank">Ian Leask</a></td></tr>
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But carrying cargo to Corvo is not a profitable occupation. It depends on being subsidised by the Azorean Government and under EU regulations such subsidies must be put out to tender (<i>concurso público</i>). And in the most recent tender <i>Maré Ocidental</i> (MO) have been beaten to it by AFF. Below is AFF's vessel, the similar but surely inauspiciously named Lusitania, at Lajes with the now redundant Santa Iria at her mooring behind.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jX-lz9idiaM/UXXQ194xRlI/AAAAAAAAIFQ/XGBTegzzAwY/s1600/IMG_3020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jX-lz9idiaM/UXXQ194xRlI/AAAAAAAAIFQ/XGBTegzzAwY/s400/IMG_3020.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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MO also ran pleasure sailings to Corvo and around the coast of Flores (in a different boat) during the summer. They also have premises in Fajã Grande where you can hire bikes, scooters and kayaks etc. in summer. But without their core contract of carrying the cargo to Corvo, it's been announced the firm is to close with loss of eleven jobs. I don't know what's going to happen to the Santa Iria (or the scooters and kayaks). Given that Fair Isle is already taken care of, I expect there must be quite a restricted market for such vessels.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nE5oS5yxssE/UXXSiJ2jFBI/AAAAAAAAIFg/uqmmq2CaeXA/s1600/IMG_5668.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nE5oS5yxssE/UXXSiJ2jFBI/AAAAAAAAIFg/uqmmq2CaeXA/s400/IMG_5668.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>En route</i> to Corvo on the <i>Santa Iria</i> in 2009</td></tr>
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The other thing is, I don't understand is why the MO people have to lose their jobs. There's a principle of European Union law called TUPE - English speaking lawyers pronounce that "Choopy" and it's an acronym for "Transfer of Undertakings Protection of Employment". The basic principle is that, in a situation like the change of Corvo contract, the incoming company can't just sack the outgoing company's people and replace them with their own instead - they have to keep the outgoing company's people on unless there's some very good reason not to. I can imagine American Republican voters deriding this as socialist statism. And British UKIP (a political party opposed to memebership of the EU) voters likewise. But in the meantime, I'm not aware of the "good reason" why the change from MO on the Corvo run means their employees are out of a job.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iTtfOH8DN7s/UYLk_Ik2z7I/AAAAAAAAIKI/MmqT4KLgxHA/s1600/Hebridean+Isles-flickr-ferrymanjgb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iTtfOH8DN7s/UYLk_Ik2z7I/AAAAAAAAIKI/MmqT4KLgxHA/s400/Hebridean+Isles-flickr-ferrymanjgb.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/40283801@N06/4163005803/" target="_blank">ferrymanjgb</a></td></tr>
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I totally get why public subsidy has to be put out to tender and that this may inevitably involve a loser. But two things from similar situations in Scotland where I come from. First, the subsidised shipping services to the Scottish islands (pictured above) are periodically put out to tender. But it's always made a condition that the winning bidder <i>must </i>employ the outgoing contractor's people. To put that another way, any company submitting a bid must demonstrate that there is no "good reason" why the normal consequences of TUPE won't apply or their bid won't be considered.<br />
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Second, there was an awful hoo-hah recently when the hunting rights on a Scottish island called Raasay (above) which belongs to the government were auctioned. The lease was awarded to a company from elsewhere in Scotland which had bid only £2k (=2.2k€) higher than a syndicate of local crofters (small farmers) which had held the lease for a number of years. There was no question of anyone losing their jobs here and, on one view, the govt. had done the right thing by awarding the lease to highest bidder. But as the Scottish <i>soi disant</i> Government also espouses localism, shouldn't it have a policy of weighing in the balance the benefits of keeping contracts within local communities even if that's at the expense of a few thousand pounds a year?<br />
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I'm not aware there's been a similar hoo-hah in the Azores over the Corvo shipping contract. If it had happened in Scotland, it would have been be headline news. Maybe I just don't read the right websites. Maybe Azoreans have a more <i>amanhã</i> attitude than we uptight Brits do.Neil Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567487892239196569noreply@blogger.com1