Arrived!

I remember thinking we'd arrived here when, about two years ago, my name appeared in the Azores phone book.

The event was tempered slightly by the fact that the address was wrong - they'd put me in a place called Morres-Cima which I still don't know where it is and even José Antonio at the shop was a bit hesitant in pronouncing it to be "near Lajes". However, they got the phone number right which is the important thing for a phone book, I suppose.

Anyway, I cut out the correction slip and posted it off, never imagining it would actually be actioned, but a new phone book came in the other day lo and behold with the correct address! So, being "second generation phone book", as it were, I feel that not only have we arrived but can probably afford to take our jackets off now as well.

Yes First Minister

The Scottish soi disant Government has just published its legislative programme for 2010-11.

One of the statements below is a quote from "Yes Minister" and the other is an extract from a summary of one of the bills to be put before the Scottish Parliament. Can you tell which is which?:-

"a series of proposals which on examination proved to indicate certain promising lines of enquiry, which when pursuit led to the realization that the alternative courses of action might in fact, in certain circumstances, be susceptible of discreet modification, leading to a reappraisal of the original areas of difference and pointing a way to encouraging possibilities of compromise and cooperation which if bilaterally implemented with appropriate give and take on both sides might, if the climate were right, have a reasonable possibility at the end of the day of leading rightly or wrongly to a mutually satisfactory resolution they'll give it the most serious and earnest consideration and insist on a thorough and rigorous examination of all the proposals, allied with detailed feasibility study and budget analysis, before producing a consultative document for consideration by all interested bodies and seeking comments and recommendations to be included in a brief, for a series of working parties who will produce individual studies which will provide the background for a more wide ranging document, considering whether or not the proposal should be taken forward to the next stage"

"improve record keeping across the public sector, strengthening governance, transparency and accountability supports a key recommendation on records and record keeping of the historical abuse systemic review will provide a framework for improvements in record keeping across the public sector, encompassing existing guidance and best practice will provide a framework for improvements in record keeping across the public sector, most stakeholders are a positive step towards lasting improvements in the management of records by public authorities will be required to produce and implement a records management plan to be approved by the authorities engage private or voluntary organisations to deliver public services on their behalf to form a foundation on which to build improvements with guidance and good practice while minimising additional burdens on authorities will improve record keeping across the public sector, strengthening governance, transparency and accountability, and fulfilling a key recommendation ..."

For non-British readers, "Yes Minister" was a classic 80s BBC sitcom about the relationship between a government minister (in the last two series, the prime minister), Jim Hacker, and two of his civil servants, Sir Humphrey Appleby and Bernard Woolley, pictured above and played by, respectively, Paul Eddington (The Good Life), Nigel Hawthorne (The Madness of King George) and Derek Fowlds (The Basil Brush Show).

What's that jacket all about Mr Derek? 

Margaret Thatcher was a fan (of "Yes Minister", not Basil Brush although having said that I've no reason to believe she disliked BB, who could?) and even penned a brief sketch in which she appeared playing herself as the prime minister along with Eddington and Hawthorne in their YM roles. (Hawthorne, being an uber-lovey, I imagine was appalled by this stunt but refusing the Iron Lady in the 1980s was as unthinkable as refusing the Empress of Russia in the 1760s.) A recurring theme of YM was Sir Humphrey's pompous circumlocutions and in British English government gobbledegook is still referred to as a "Sir Humphrey-ism".

Anyway, the Scottish soi disant Government's proposed Public Records Bill could almost be a product of Jim Hacker's fictional Department of Administrative Affairs. As could such racy legislative offerings as the Local Electoral Administration Bill and the Health (Certification of Death) Bill - someone must have been having a laugh with that last one, combining the words "health" and "death" in the name of a bill.

Absent from the list is the much touted bill to authorise the holding of a referendum on Scottish independence from the United Kingdom. So the point of the SNP is what exactly ...?

Football again ...

No sooner have the vuvuzelas fallen silent than we're off and running with the qualifiers for the next international footballing extravaganza, Euro 2012.

An executive summary of all you need to know from the opening night is that the team not so long ago branded "Drab Fab's Flops" beat Bulgaria 4-0 sending the short memoried English media off in an orgy of prediction of Ingerlish glory to come.

Scotland struggled to a draw against Lithuania - but it might have been Estonia or the other one - Vilnius? Anyway, that prompted Presbyterian hand wringing, cautious optimism for more than a point from the next fixture (Liechtenstein - could be vital for goal difference in a three way play off with the Faeroe Islands) and facial expressions regularly seen on Scottish players' faces:-

Both of the Irelands won and I don't know what happened to Wales (does anyone care? I don't.)

Portugal drew 4-4 with Cyprus - Goodness knows what was going on there: I'll need to read up about it but Portugal are one of these countries (like Scotland) who ought to beat countries like Cyprus comfortably but don't and give you palpitations and then (totally unlike Scotland) pull it out the bag at the last minute.

Am I the only one who thinks Ronaldo is almost certainly gay?

But the best news of the evening was undoubtedly France getting gubbed 1-0 by Belarus (might have been Moldovia or Tatarstan but the effect is much the same).

Merde alors!

Anything to report?

Every day around noon I walk down to Joe and Linda's shop for the bread and every day when I get back Carol asks "Anything to report from downtown?" And every day I answer "No."

But today I answered "No. ... Er, well, actually, YES."

The reason was today, 1st September 2010, was the first day of the new bus service on Flores and I walked past the new bus in the village square - at the bus-stop, in fact - on the way down to get the bread.

It was very big and new and shiny and had a driver with a uniform (well a shirt, tie and name badge anyway, if not a cap) and an illuminated digital sign thing in the window saying "04 FAJÃZINHA".

I shouldn't be at all surprised if, inside, there weren't a synthetic voice saying "The next stop is [then different voice said in tone like recording your name for a voice mail message] Fajãzinha [back to original voice] please remember to collect your personal belongings ...". (In Portuguese, of course.)

Unfortunately, there were no passengers on the bus but to make up for that there was a laminated timetable pinned up in the bus shelter. That would have ensured that, had there been any passengers, at least there wouldn't have been a disappointment if anyone was wanting the "05 LAJES".

Of course I didn't have my camera with me so the following is a pic from the Governo dos Açores website of the new fleet of buses at Sta Cruz:-

I went down later to at least get a pic of the timetable pinned up in the bus shelter but on the way down I was halloo-ed by Marianna down the road to tell me our bucket (balde) had been blown down the street the other night in the storm and was outside Pierluigi's house. So I picked that up and when I got to the bus shelter José Agusto's father was sitting there, as is his wont (and his right), and I would have felt a right plank photographing a timetable holding a balde. So I didn't.

To explain, there have been buses on Flores before today but they're geared round the school run and have generally been a bit, well, crap. There was a story recently that all the drivers were off sick and the kids couldn't get get to school. I'm sure something got lost in translation on that one but if you couple it with the fact that the nearest they got to publishing a timetable was a handwritten scrawl in the shop window "because some German tourist asked" then you can see how name badges and laminated timetables is a great leap forward.

We don't yet run to the timetable on a website or a reply to an e-mail requesting a copy but it's early doors yet. Carol said "Let's go to Lajes on the bus because we can". Sounds like a plan except I hope it doesn't turn out to be like the disappointment when we decided to go to Corvo because we - supposedly - could. 

Weather!

The view from our sitting room window is not supposed to look like this in August:-

As I type this, it's now dark and the rain is lashing down and the wind howling round the house. The culprit is the very deep depression right-most on the satellite picture below from the excellent Portuguese Meteorological Institute website (choose "Oceano Atlantico" from the drop-down where it says "Seleccione Área" on the right) which is sitting right on top of the Grupo Occidental (i.e. Flores and Corvo)

Note the three (as yet) smaller depressions out to the west following in its wake.

For those of you who prefer pictorial smiley sun type weather depictions, I can tell you Carol's website of choice is long on big frowning black clouds, zig-zaggy lightening bolts and umbrellas blown inside-out and short on smiley suns for the next few days. 

Is that the sound of hatches being battened down I hear? No - it's a hatch blowing down the street. 

FG on the TV #2

Well we weren't betrayed by EDA this time but by RTP Açores themselves because one page on their website said it was on at 20.45 while another said it was 20.40. I therefore took the precaution of turning on at 20.37 and the programme was already on - Gah!

I think it may be possible to watch it online at some point in the near future via this link which seems to carry the first 19 of the 35 villages in the Azores with less than 500 people. Hopefully, they'll update that soon to carry the remaining 16 including all those on Flores (and Corvo).

It's Fajãzinha tonight. The RTP-A website is being pretty consistent across all pages in saying it's 20.45 but after last night's performance, I shall be taking the precaution of setting the vid to run from 20.25. And if the power doesn't go off at 20.26, then there will probably be another cloudburst which will make the satellite dish go all wonky - there was one of these earlier: they frequently happen in the middle of Holby City which is the BBC's answer to Dr Kildare. Carol watches it, I don't.

Anyway, for those who won't be seeing Fajãzinha on the tellybox later (myself included possibly), here's a library picture of it as they say:-

FG on the TV

Oh dear, an awful long time since I wrote anything on here, in fact since the power cut in the middle of the World Cup Final.

Well my psychic vibes tell me the next power cut (for there hasn't been one since) will be at 20.45 on Monday 23 August because that's when there's a 25 minute programme about Faja Grande on RTP Açores (so don't get too excited as anyone who doesn't live in the Azores won't get to see it.)

Anyway, as part of the celebrations for RTP Açores (which is to the Azores what BBC Scotland is to Scotland) being 35 years old, they're doing a series about the 35 villages in the Azores with fewer than 500 inhabitants.

I wonder which 40 villages they'll celebrate for the 40th anniversary? Or the 45 for the 45th? You probably have to be less than 10 years old and have a gift for geometric progressions verging on the autistic to work that out. Indeed you probably haven't born yet and RTP Açores' plans are on hold pro tem.

But I digress. The TV cameras were here on Wednesday. José Teodosio and his team from the junta laid on a nice display in the village square and the tuna played. Tuna is Portuguese for a string band (which doesn't translate at all well into English)

There was only one slight unpleasantness to mar the general bonhomie - a group of film-makers were innocently going about their business when a traditional basket weaver invaded their space with a traditional basket in the making in a quite unnecessarily intrusive fashion ...

Quite deplorable sort of behaviour and a symptom of the times we live in I'm afraid to say. It didn't spoil the kids' fun though ...

RTP Açores, Monday, 8.45pm, - you'll know when it's on because the lights will go off.